I am back..

It's been a long 3 years since I have written anything here. Ikru is going to school, making new friends, going on play dates, helps me wipe plates, and what not! :) Yes, it has been the best 5.5 years of my life with a lot of sweet memories. I started this blog to keep a journal of that beautiful journey. But somehow, stopped in between. I know, I must have lost the memories of a hundred beautiful incidents :( Yet, I shall try to jot down at least the ones that come to my mind.

I do tell everyone, daughters are the best thing that can happen to a person. They fill our lives with cheerful energy, compassionate love and unlimited happiness. The softest kisses and cuddles, the most beautiful imaginations, the most wonderful thoughts..

I always remember the times when she had showed great care  and love :)  I particularly remember this incident always.... My husband was away on work for a long time. I was finding it really difficult juggling work, home, daughter, cooking.. I was tired, no... exhausted.. I never had any family members nearby for any help. And everything seemed like a herculean task! There was this one particular day. I had a bad day at work, and I was really tired, yet busy cooking dinner. My daughter was continuously asking me if I can take her to the park. I said "No!". Yes, If they really want something, kids have the habit of repeating the question until you change your mind or lose your mind! She went on and on making me crazy. Then she was like "ok, put on a cartoon for me." With chappathi dough on both hands I went near her and screamed "That's all you want, right?! Either play or watch cartoon and have fun! Do you ever think about anyone else?!" I know that was too much funda for a 4 year old. She looked at me and said "No mamma, that's not all I want, I want something else also" I was like "What the heck is that other thing you want?" . She looked into my eyes and said "Mamma, I don't want you to be cooking and working a lot and then be very tired". Yes, those were the exact words. I remember it verbatim..  Oh God, I was speechless, I did not know what to say. I just hugged her and said thank you!

I feel that I have the best mother and the best daughter in the world.. And sometimes it makes me feel that I am so inadequate.. I am neither a good mother like mine nor a good daughter like mine. But it's ok.. we are all wonderful women and we love one another for what we are! They ought to love me the way I am :) And they do!

Princess diaries - dated 15 July 2011

My darling daughter…

You are the most compassionate person I have seen in my whole life. Always ready to help anyone…

I still remember that day.. when you surprised us… Your dad was leaving to office.. he was putting on his shoes and he could not find his socks. He asked me whether I put it to wash. I said ‘NO’. You were standing nearby and suddenly you ran inside. N your Dada n me were wondering where you ran to. He asked me ‘where did she go?” I said “I dunno”. You ran and came back with 3-4 socks of his. Oh.. sweetheart.. how cute that was. We dint even know that you knew the drawer where we keep it and that you can differentiate your Dad’s and my socks also.  You r soo intelligent dear…

Today morning also.. You r such an independent gal that You put on your shoes all by yourself unlike most of the kids of your age(I know much older kids who cannot do that). You were putting your footwear all by yourself.. And You know wt.. You helped with mine as well.. Jesus!No one can be sweeter than you my dear… Luuuuv u soooo much!  Proud to be your mom! Am very sure that one day I’ll be renowned as Eva’s Mom :)

Gift of life

I had to wait twenty eight years to experience…

There is someone whose eyes sparkle on seeing me..
There is someone who jumps with joy when I get back from work..
There is someone who dances when I sing..
There is someone who enjoys dancing with me… laughing all the time..
There is someone who stops crying when getting a hug from me..
There is someone who smiles when kissed by me…
There is someone who wants to hear my lullabies to sleep…
Above all, there is someone who prefers to be with me, than being with anyone else in the world…
My little star who shines so bright my life glows ever so bright with the rays of love.

The Princess Diaries

An excerpt from my diary dated November 18th.

Today is November 18th. It has been 8 months since I saw her for the first time. The memories of that meeting are still so vivid in my mind.

I heard someone say “Moncy, it’s a beautiful girl”.

I looked at her.

She did not notice me.

But I liked her. That crude form of innocence was something which I had never seen in my whole life. I knew that I was going to be totally in love with her.

At first it was really difficult to please her. I always did whatever was possible to make her happy. But she never acknowledged it.

It took long 7 weeks of hard work and sleepless nights to get my first reward, her first smile. Oh.. God! It was so heavenly… so beautiful… a perfect smile. I was overwhelmed with joy. THAT was the most wonderful moment in my life.

Gradually she started loving me. Now, she can’t even spend a moment without me, she needs me for everything, to feed her, to play with her, to cuddle her to sleep; the list goes on and on.

Sadly, its now time for me to leave her and get back to work. I really don’t know how we can cope up with this separation.

My dear daughter I want to be with you always. I want to witness each of your “firsts”. Although I got to witness your first crawl, your first smile, there are many other first I truly want to be a part of… the first step… the firsts of everything.

I don’t want to miss any of that. I don’t enjoy anyone else feeding you, bathing you, patting you to sleep. The thought of leaving you with a maid really makes me wanna give up my job, no matter how much it meant to me earlier.

However, I have no choice darling. I have to work to make your future secure.
It’s for you my darling. So forgive me my dear.

Those days.... mixed with confusion and joy

It seemed like it was all about the pain..
the ever enduring back pain, the swollen legs...
the heart burns n leg cramps.. those which never occurred before...

Those sleepless nights when I was wide awake..
A spiralling pain from places unknown..

Dizziness signaling that my BP was succumbing to gravity ..
It felt it was all about those added tensions..

The boss who was bothered about the project deliveries alone..
The colleague who was ever ready to catch a fault n announce that..
All as if they were the end of the world.

The bus driver who had a blind eye towards gutters and humps..
My best friend who told me that it’s all because I expect compassion from everywhere..
The dearest husband who at times failed to understand the mood swings..

I thought whatever had i gotten into!

And then..
The moment I feel your presence, the tickling movement inside my womb,
It was all about joy and excitement, my dear..
The small kicks and jerks ... your unique way of telling me 'Mama I love you!'

Those made me feel heavenly bliss .. Yes dear..
You are the most beautiful thing that happened in my life..
The most beautiful experience I ever had..
I love you my angel!

Hello Blog!

The very first program i executed had the output "Hello World". It turned out to be the profession i chose, and i am reasonably happy. So, lets get this started as well with a similar shout out "Hello Blog!"

Being a mom for the first time brought about a number of changes in me, right from the way i looked to the way i felt. There was always a special feeling inside, even before the little one stepped out into the world we call our own.

Not knowing what gender the little one was only added to the feeling of excitement, and the very first taps while inside my womb only made me wonder if it was a Dancing Queen inside, or a Tap Dancer dude.

Though this channel i try to understand and share my feelings and experiences as i deal with the journey that is called motherhood.

A special tribute to my husband who has been an active supporter and guide through my special days, as well as in driving me to kickstart this blog.

C ya around, and keep visiting!!