A Quiet Place - Ikru’s version

**Spoiler Alert : A Quiet Place **
I was quite upset that the movie ended abruptly without a real end. I told Eva that and she wrote it for me. Guess I don’t have to watch ‘A Quiet Place 2’ now 😂

P.S. This is her draft version.  I just couldn’t wait to share 😊

I turned my hearing aid up and held it up to the speaker, a tear rolls down my cheek as vivid memories of my father being attacked rush back to me. Each moment of pain, as he yelled, “I love you” one last time. A loud crackle came from the security cameras, they were coming destroying everything in their path. Butterflies flew around in my stomach, but I couldn’t give up now. I had to do it for dad.
I look over at Marcus and newborn baby Abbot and mouth, “I love you,” knowing it may be the last time I ever get to see their beautiful faces. I look over at mum and watch as she reloads her gun and prepares for battle. I look over to the cameras and watch as hundreds of aliens run towards us. We patiently wait until all of them arrived into the house when suddenly a burst of tears echoes around the room. I gasp in shock and look over at Marcus and baby Abbot. I rush over and help Marcus try to calm baby Abbot. Mum throws a nearby rock at me and signals me to come over. I kiss Marcus and baby Abbot and rush over to my mum. I held my breath as the creatures lurk around upstairs trying to follow the cries of baby Abbot.
Mum looks over at me and nods her head, she whispers in my ear, “ 3 … 2 … 1.” We begin screaming at the top of our lungs hoping to lure the creatures into the basement. We look up as the basement door slowly begins breaking each shard of wood and lock smashing. Creatures begin pouring in and I turn my hearing aid on, we watch as the creatures shriek in pain and, “Bang! Bang! Bang!” I watch as the creatures fall and scream. This continued I watched as a pool of blood begins forming around the basement floor spilling and spilling until the whole basement floor was covered in blood.

I look over at Marcus as he protects baby Abbot and smiles, as he cradles him in his arms. I wipe the tear off my cheek as I wait for the next set to come. We watch as creatures scream in pain and die in an instant. As soon as I thought it was over I rushed to hug my family. I look into baby Abbots bright blue eyes wishing for nothing else than my dad to be here with us. I look over at mum and say to her, “We should name him after dad,” I look over at baby Abbot, “Hey Lee.” I whisper into his ear. “I will always protect you, just like dad did.”
Suddenly the room fills with red flashing lights there were more and they were heading towards our house. I look over at mum, “Let’s do this,” I look at Marcus and Lee, “Go hide,” Marcus nods and runs over to his hiding spot. I hear a gasp come from mum, “Mum what’s wrong?” I ask. She looks over at me tears filling her eyes and says, “We’re out of bullets.” I gasp and look over at Marcus, “We have to hide,” Mum follows me as we all duck into position each of us holding our breath. The last monster slowly treads down the stairs. Heart racing, a tear rolls down my cheek. When out of the blue Mum jumps out from behind me and screams. I watch in horror as the creature devours her. I held  back the urge of screaming NO but I remember that mum did this to protect us. We watch as the creature slowly leaves blood dripping on every step. We walk out and I look over at Marcus his face was frozen with horror. We were all alone now.

Ikru's quotes

Just trying to put together a few conversations between me and my daughter:

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Ikru to me one day "Mumma, are you a Hindu?"
Me - "No"
Ikru - "are you a christian?"
Me - "No" (Oh, I wish.. I hate churches )
Ikru - "Oh, OK.... So you are Chinese!" (I still don't know the logic behind that.. )
Me - As always.. speechless! (stupid me, was planning to give her a class about my secular views and ideas)

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Ikru to me, "Mamma, I want you to stay with me even after my marriage"
An overwhelmed me, almost battling tears (oh, my God, she needs me always) -"sure".
Then she continues - "so that I can cook one day, you can cook one day and my husband can cook one day"
A speechless me -yeah, sure (after all that's what mothers are for, right? To cook)

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I think my secular views totally screwed up Ikru's idea of religion.

I was trying to make her eat meat. She does not eat meat or fish. Finally I told her - "So you are a Hindu, not a Christian. Christians do eat meat"

An angry and agitated Ikru - "No, mumma, I am a christian. How can I be a Hindu. I don't even know Hindi. Christians speak English or Malayalam. So I am a christian.

Me - (yes, you guessed it).. speechless!

Ikru and her grandmother

Sometimes I really feel jealous when I see the way Ikru loves my mom.  Ikru started calling my mom "mummy", following my footsteps and somehow it stuck. My mom is "Mommy" for Ikru. They both are like soul mates or partners in crime. No arguments, no shouting, no crying.. always peaceful. Ikru wishes, mummy fulfills. And in that process, I can see the child in mummy rejoicing. My brothers always used to comment that my mom is the smallest kid in our house. After Ikru, the comment was always - "you both are of same age". The way mom gives in to ikru's impish wishes and the gleam in ikru's eyes after accomplishing all the stuff which I do not allow her to do..  Nowadays Ikru sometimes says "Mummy is my best friend". Yes, they are like two little cheeky kids and for me, it is always a joy to watch them :)

Once when Ikru thought that I was not around, I heard her telling mom "You know what, I love you more than your daughter".. and mommy replies "You know what, I love you more than my daughter" Ah.. though it makes me slightly jealous, I always enjoy watching their bonding. The way they do things which only small kids can enjoy... things which sometimes I feel bored to do! Mummy sits in Ikru's kitchen patiently and have the 100th make-believe Dosa and coffee that Ikru makes. Then I think - "Oh, I don't think she was this patient when she was bringing me up... maybe I will get there one day". But I know, I can only envy the patience, liveliness and humor sense of my mom. I won't get there.

There was this funny/embarrassing situation caused by this bonding. Ikru spent her Pooja holidays at her grandmom's and then I went to pick her. We were supposed to return with a relative who was driving to Bangalore. But they cancelled the trip. So somehow last minute I managed to get a ticket from some other town. My brother had to drive me there. Mummy accompanied him. A cousin of mine who lives in that town also came to see me and promised to pack my dinner. So all in all, I was happy eating cousin chechy's kappa biriyani and couldn't think of anything else. Bus came and we boarded. Ikru looked so sad and said "I want to see mummy".

The bus driver was nowhere in vicinity. So I got down and went over to mommy and bro. Suddenly Ikru sprang to mummy and started crying "Mummy, you also come with me please....  come, come.. " Seeing her tears and sobs, mummy told "I shall come dear" She was like "then come and get on the bus". My brother tried to convince her that we do not have another ticket. Somehow the 4 year old understood that part. (Thank God she did not say, then dump mamma here and you come with me) But she kept on weeping and sobbing and by that time Mummy was also in tears. My cousin chechy drove by and stopped and said "Oh, so.. sad". I said angrily "Yeah, but both of them never seemed to bother when I leave them". She laughed :)

Finally when the driver started the bus I somehow managed to pull Ikru and boarded the bus. She kept sobbing fiercely chanting "mummy, mummy, mummy..." And the people in the bus were staring and giving me weird looks. I was thinking  like "what, are you people judging me for not being a good mom, it's not my fault. Its my mom's fault.. she is too nice to be true kind.. that's why". And then the girl sitting next to me asked "where are you taking the kid from her mommy?" Ah.. that explains the weird looks. Now that also is mummy's fault since she stays so young making people ask me if she is my sister (I heard that recently also and that makes me real jealous). With a perplexed look on my face I answered ."no.. actually I am her mommy, and that one there, that is my mommy" . The look on her face - priceless! :)

Unable to console her, I told Ikru: "Look baby, if you keep on crying like this, people  would think that I am kidnapping you. someone might call the police and they would take me." Police - the only thing in the world that scares the little daredevil -  did the trick. She somehow stopped crying. :)

Ikru heard me narrating this funny incident to a few people. She came and told me..  - "Mumma, I would now start calling mummy 'Grandma' so that such confusions do not happen. Ok?" Me... "Oh, yeah." as if that would fix it.. haha :)

Ikru and 'A tale of two mommies'

We started going to the library every week since it is situated near Ikru's swimming class. Seeing the pace at which Ikru is learning swimming, guess we can visit library regularly minimum for a year. All of us take books and Ikru is the only one who religiously finishes reading her books in a week. Some days we help her select books. The other day, I was busy searching for a particular book and Ikru and her dad selected her books. At home I checked the books and one was named - "A tale of two mommies". Knowing the extent to which Aussies go to teach kids about inclusiveness, I immediately understood it is about a same sex couple. My not so open husband had not understood that :)

In a way, it is amazing the way they try to impart these values in kids. One week, her reading exercise was like "I am brown, my eyes are black, etc etc (the colors were to be filled by the children) and I am beautiful the way I am". Definitely that is something we should teach our kids. They try to teach the kids that all skin color, eye color, hair color, body type are beautiful. (I totally feel that they are less bothered about skin color than us Indians who have a huge passion for fair skin). I totally admire the values they try to teach kids. So as part of this, they are trying to teach the kids that having two mommies is also equally good as having a mom and dad. It goes like a question answer session where one kid ask the other one questions like which mommy bakes, which mommy teach him to ride a bicycle and so on.. and the other one answers. Even after reading that to Ikru, my husband did not realize what it was (guess he was not paying attention to what he was reading) . I was wondering when he became so open minded and asked him. And then he realized.

Ikru was always fascinated by the idea of marriage (or mainly wedding I guess, the lil fashionista is always about dresses and shoes and make up). And first she wanted to marry her dad. And finally when I convinced her that  she cannot marry her dad, she settled with my youngest brother. When my younger brother married and my sister in law came to our house, she decided that she is marrying the other one. Then she can fulfill another dream as well, she can stay with my mom forever. :) So she told my mom "Mommy, I shall marry kochacha so that I can stay here the way Ammayi is staying here after marrying Valyacha". Somehow finally we convinced her that she cannot marry her uncle as well and then she settled for her best friend Achu.

After leaving Bangalore, and joining new school, within a few weeks, she managed to find another prospective groom, in fact two this time. Mamma, I want to marry this boy or that boy...  haha .  And that is when she got the idea of two mommies.

And then one fine morning Ikru asked her dad, "Dadda, Can two girls marry each other?". Her confused dad (who totally forgot about the book) - "Not sure if it is legal here honey. Why? what is the issue" . Ikru in deep thoughts - "I wanted to marry Sophia(You know, the boys keep fighting always)". My conservative husband had the shock of his life and was searching for words. Me laughing to my heart's content told him - "haha, YOU selected that book "

The parental dilemmas

I am in a dilemma - when my daughter talks about school fairy and tooth fairy, I am not sure whether I should let her live in that fantasy land for some time. After all, according to the Hollywood movies,  telling a kid that Santa does not exist is the worst crime in the world :) And since I never had any such fantasies during my childhood, a part of me doesn't want her to believe in fairies and Santa. But another part is like, "ok, let her enjoy that innocent fantasies for some time". I think it is because I have a bit of both my parents in me - the God fearing mom and the no-nonsense, ever rational dad! So the ever confused, agnostic me don't know what to teach my daughter. 

This confusion brought back memories of my childhood days and so this is more about my parents, than about Ikru. Specially about that one superman in my life; the man who never ceases to surprise me, be it by solving a 7 sided Rubik's cube or by finding time to read astrophysics while managing all the farm work by himself.

Sometimes I feel that I was brought up by the most rational man in the world. My papa who taught me to find reasons, to ask questions and most importantly to THINK. The most patient teacher I have ever seen, the kind heart that he is, yet the superhero of my childhood who had muscle power to match his intellect. The quintessential personality I admire. During my teenage days, I was always so proud of myself, the way I think, the vast reading I have done, I considered myself so rational, intellectual and what not.. I was so proud that I finished reading so many classics like "War and Peace", "Don Quixote" or "Pride and prejudice" before reaching the age of 10.  Until one day when my mom asked me "Do you think you would be like this if not for Papa, who taught you everything; right from the moment you were born?"  

Yes, he taught me everything. He taught me to read even before I reached the age of 3. Yes, I could read Malayalam fluently even before completing 3 years and I was a wonder to people around at that time. So in my teenage when people talk about that I used to feel that I was so great to achieve something like that. But mummy was like "Do you think you could have done it without him? No dear, that's his achievement, not yours". Yes, now when I turn back I realize, everything that I can be proud of; be it the rational thinking, the reading habits, the empathy and what not.. I owe it all to him! I wouldn't have read so many classics if he did not have the Malayalam translation of all those in his collection. Just the way he taught me swimming, cycling or climbing trees, he taught me to read, think and above all to be considerate to others. When we all bad mouth the man who jumped across our car making Papa apply a sudden brake, he would say " who knows, his kid might be in hospital".

He took so much care in moulding my thoughts and in that process I started searching for logic in every thing. So I never believed in fairies or Santa or ghosts and so I was a fearless soul. I never got scared after the ghost story sessions in hostels because of that deep routed believes I had. I could easily go and sleep in a cemetery during my teenage days (I was not so aware of the rape stories back then; now I am scared even when I am alone in a deserted place in broad daylight, thanks to them).

He taught us to look at our neighbors' only to ensure that they have enough; never to compare. Empathy is a way of life for him. And he would give away anything to help others -except his books, he remember the names of people who borrowed them and not returned, though he doesn't remember people who borrowed cash/other things.

Yes, he is the greatest human being I have ever met in person. The most principled, most disciplined  man I have ever seen. And like my brother said once - a real rare breed. He taught us by his example. Yet, we failed to learn. We can never be like him. We tell our fair share of lies to survive, we think about us before helping anyone else.

And yes, above all ; he never once told me - "You are a girl, so you should not do that" - that one dialogue I used to hear almost every day during my childhood and teenage from everywhere; mom, teachers, relatives, and who all!

I am happy about the way he moulded me; But yet sometimes I really wonder if my childhood could have been a little more colorful if there were fairies in my fantasies; and the hope that I could meet one :) Though I had the most wonderful childhood in the village - climbing trees, swimming in river, hiking the small mountains around - sometimes I feel that I never actually was a child. How can a 7 year old who reads "Sahithyavarafalam" by M krishnan Nair in Kalakowmudi be called a child! Did I lose something beautiful since I did not believe in fairies or angels or for that matter in God himself in my childhood! Or rather, did I lose my childhood since I was too rational at a very young age!

So in summary, I still don't know if I should let my child believe in fairies; but the other part of the story is that she believes her teacher more than me. So her teacher told her there is a school fairy; so there it is. If I have to prove otherwise, it would require hard work. So.. may be.. let there be fairies :)

I am back..

It's been a long 3 years since I have written anything here. Ikru is going to school, making new friends, going on play dates, helps me wipe plates, and what not! :) Yes, it has been the best 5.5 years of my life with a lot of sweet memories. I started this blog to keep a journal of that beautiful journey. But somehow, stopped in between. I know, I must have lost the memories of a hundred beautiful incidents :( Yet, I shall try to jot down at least the ones that come to my mind.

I do tell everyone, daughters are the best thing that can happen to a person. They fill our lives with cheerful energy, compassionate love and unlimited happiness. The softest kisses and cuddles, the most beautiful imaginations, the most wonderful thoughts..

I always remember the times when she had showed great care  and love :)  I particularly remember this incident always.... My husband was away on work for a long time. I was finding it really difficult juggling work, home, daughter, cooking.. I was tired, no... exhausted.. I never had any family members nearby for any help. And everything seemed like a herculean task! There was this one particular day. I had a bad day at work, and I was really tired, yet busy cooking dinner. My daughter was continuously asking me if I can take her to the park. I said "No!". Yes, If they really want something, kids have the habit of repeating the question until you change your mind or lose your mind! She went on and on making me crazy. Then she was like "ok, put on a cartoon for me." With chappathi dough on both hands I went near her and screamed "That's all you want, right?! Either play or watch cartoon and have fun! Do you ever think about anyone else?!" I know that was too much funda for a 4 year old. She looked at me and said "No mamma, that's not all I want, I want something else also" I was like "What the heck is that other thing you want?" . She looked into my eyes and said "Mamma, I don't want you to be cooking and working a lot and then be very tired". Yes, those were the exact words. I remember it verbatim..  Oh God, I was speechless, I did not know what to say. I just hugged her and said thank you!

I feel that I have the best mother and the best daughter in the world.. And sometimes it makes me feel that I am so inadequate.. I am neither a good mother like mine nor a good daughter like mine. But it's ok.. we are all wonderful women and we love one another for what we are! They ought to love me the way I am :) And they do!

Princess diaries - dated 15 July 2011

My darling daughter…

You are the most compassionate person I have seen in my whole life. Always ready to help anyone…

I still remember that day.. when you surprised us… Your dad was leaving to office.. he was putting on his shoes and he could not find his socks. He asked me whether I put it to wash. I said ‘NO’. You were standing nearby and suddenly you ran inside. N your Dada n me were wondering where you ran to. He asked me ‘where did she go?” I said “I dunno”. You ran and came back with 3-4 socks of his. Oh.. sweetheart.. how cute that was. We dint even know that you knew the drawer where we keep it and that you can differentiate your Dad’s and my socks also.  You r soo intelligent dear…

Today morning also.. You r such an independent gal that You put on your shoes all by yourself unlike most of the kids of your age(I know much older kids who cannot do that). You were putting your footwear all by yourself.. And You know wt.. You helped with mine as well.. Jesus!No one can be sweeter than you my dear… Luuuuv u soooo much!  Proud to be your mom! Am very sure that one day I’ll be renowned as Eva’s Mom :)